To the Women Looking for Love in 2017…

Sometimes the search for love might seem futile, especially around the holiday season. Whether you’re in your 20s or 30s, you might look around at your friends and see them in relationships or expanding their families. You might feel your biological clock ticking and the pressure to start a relationship increasing. Here are just a few words of advice for the women looking for love in 2017.

LIVE ON YOUR OWN TIME.

You might think your biological clock is going tick, tick, tick, tick. If it is, you should question whether it’s attuned to your life or that of your friends and peers. Regardless of your age, once you see your friends getting engaged and having children, something inside goes off that maybe we should be doing the same thing. Your life is yours and your friends’ are their own. Rushing into a relationship or rushing to expand your family isn’t something you do because it’s happening on your Instagram feed. Isolate yourself from your friends and peers and decide for yourself if it’s the right time. If you decide that it is, that’s amazing, but if you decide that it’s not, you’ll know when it is!

IT’S OKAY TO FOCUS ON YOUR CAREER.

One thing you’ll hear some people say is that men are intimidated by a powerful woman. I’d like to amend that statement and say that weak men are intimidated by a powerful woman. On Instagram and Facebook, you’ll hear people bashing strong, intelligent, and independent black women. You’ll hear men say that they would prefer a woman who doesn’t talk back or catch an attitude. I say that they sound like they’re looking for a mannequin rather than an actual woman.

While they continue to waste their breath, continue to focus on yourself. There is no problem with furthering your career and your goals. Continue to be strong and independent and enhance your knowledge any way you can. When you choose to step back from your career, the right person will appreciate the life you’ve built for yourself.

YOUR STANDARDS ARE “YOUR” STANDARDS.

We’re all looking for something different, and if you’re very specific about your standards, you might hear from others that they’re too high. Regardless of what your standards are, they are yours to keep. You’re looking for the person you’ll be spending the rest of your life with so outside opinions seldom matter. When you’re looking at your standards in a mate or relationship, the most important question is whether they are realistic. You might be crafting a man of fiction. Although your standards are important and yours to keep, we must also realize no one is perfect, not even ourselves or our dream mate.

DON’T BE AFRAID TO ASK FOR HELP.

When it comes to relationships and dating, we might be afraid to ask for help. Some people are afraid it makes them look desperate and others might be afraid to put themselves out there. Turning to your friends or even family is a great alternative. If you surround yourself with people you love and who love you, you can (almost) be sure that they’ll match you with someone you might like.

Keeping an open mind plays a big factor in even asking for help with finding a date. It’s even more important if it develops into an actual date. Going into any situation with a closed mind will close the door on anything potential before the night even begins. Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there!

EXPAND YOUR HORIZONS.

You might’ve started going to the gym with the hopes of meeting someone, and working out, of course! Scoping out the attendants might seem like a grand ideas, but not if you’re months into your membership. Expand your horizons! Develop a few new hobbies or work on the ones you already have! Attend a few shows with your friends or head to a couple sporting events. Hit up your friend’s birthday parties and BBQs. With your mind stuck on one location, you might be missing all the potential friends or dates at other events.

BE HAPPY.

One of the biggest rules to being in a relationship is having the ability to be happy outside of one. For all the beautiful, intelligent, strong, and talented women out there looking for love in 2017, make sure you’re happy in this moment. You might think that being in a relationship will give you the happiness you’re missing, but that’s not how relationships and love are meant to work. Focus on yourself, your career, and things that will make you happy. When you’re happy with yourself, love and even more happiness will find you.

If you’re looking for love in 2017, don’t be afraid to switch up your routine. Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there, and certainly don’t be afraid to kiss a few frogs. You heard it here first – “2017 is the year of love!” If you don’t find it with someone else, make sure you have it with yourself.